Saturday, September 3, 2011

What to Do When You Come Across a Home School Hater

Since we began our home school journey 2 1/2 years ago, I've been encouraged by the support I receive when people find out we chose this lifestyle.  Family, friends, my church family in Topeka ~ even my children's former public school principal and classroom teachers ~ were kind with their words and extremely encouraging.

I didn't realize how blessed I was until a few months ago.  I had my first experience with what I call a "hater".  Sadly, this person has only seen the negative examples of home schoolers.  She was blatantly critical of Kindergartner, saying that she "could tell my child was home schooled because she didn't raise her hand, but just blurted out the answers" in her SS class. She then proceeded to say that all home schooled children don't know "how to behave" if they ever go to public school.

When I shrugged off her comment by stating that when I taught, the teenagers in my classes didn't always raise their hands ~ she implied that I didn't have adequate control of my classroom.  Needless to say, it was quite the interesting conversation, considering that I was brand-new to our church and had never been introduced to the woman or had any kind of conversation with her until that moment! 

Ironically, I taught that same class that following Sunday evening, and NONE of the 4-6 year olds raised their hands in class.  In fact, the ones whom I consider were "just being kiddos" ~ by rolling around on the floor, shouting out answers and jumping up and down ~ were the products of public education!  (Yes, I did control the behaviors as they happened. :)  In fact, just for the record, my former students thought I was far too strict of a teacher!)

Ever since that conversation, she has picked up the most minute of things to criticize Kindergartner over, and shoots me the pointed "look" that says "See?  The child is out of control, and it's because you home school."  Oh, and by the way, did I neglect to mention that she works in public education?

So, how do I handle these situations as they happen?  It's never easy, and I get irked when it happens. In fact, my sinful nature wants to lash out and tell HER a thing or two!   However, that would NOT be pleasing to the Lord, so this what I've learned to do over the past few months:

1.  First of all, PRAY!  I pray for the Lord to help me be gracious and kind to her, even if it's just to smile and say hello. Sure, it's easier to ignore her or run the other way if I see her coming, but I can't do that forever!  Besides, if I'm angry at my sister in Christ, I can't focus on what I go to church for ~ worship, learning, and fellowship.  I pray for her.  There is some reason why she's so anti-home school.  I must become a positive example.

2.  Call me arrogant, but I just don't feel the need to justify to anyone the reasoning of WHY we home school. The last I checked, this is still a free country, and we are allowed to educate our children the best way that WE see fit, NOT how the government sees fit!

3.  Don't bad-mouth to others.  It's tempting.  My mother is usually my sounding board when I like to gripe.  However, when she approached another home schooling mom that used to attend our church about it, I immediately felt convicted.  I had been hemmed into a corner that I didn't want to be in.  When you want to gripe about someone ~ DON'T!  As my former pastor's wife used to sing to me, "It's amazing what praising can do!"

4.  PRAY! 

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